But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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