i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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