I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
