oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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