I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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