i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
