he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
