thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
