I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize