fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
