i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize