; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
