My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Text me some of your sweat
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
