Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
