I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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