He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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