Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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