You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
