Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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