that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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