that's an acceptable place to lick
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
