dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We have started to decorate penises.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
