you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
