Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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