He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
