Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
