Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
