I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
