john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
