Non-Jews are for practice
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
