Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
