No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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