batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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