Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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