tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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