He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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