They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
