can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
