I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
