butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
