i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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