3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
