she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Houston, we have a squirter
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
