Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
