All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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