Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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