so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
