I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
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Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
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June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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