I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
