OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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