they need to just BURY HIM!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I booty called her while she was in labor.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
