I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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