Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
