my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize