I got her a Nickelback box set.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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