Say something about gay babies.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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