I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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