Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
