i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
