my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
