I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
