She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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