it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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