i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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