Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
